I am not too proud to call out my parenting failures. I had a great one tonight.
I had to run into a corner pharmacy & opted to leave the boys locked in the car versus trying to run in and grab what I needed and fend off Little's stunts.
It was starting to get dark. I left the radio on some pop song that Big knows all of the lyrics to and hopped out of the car, locking the doors behind me.
I was in the store, less than five minutes... as I approached my vehicle I felt the blood rush to my head as my mind identified a familiar base line pulsing from the car.
I opened the car door to find Big WIDE-EYED in the back seat. Clearly sort of in shock ~ now we are pretty liberal with the music we play around the boys but there are lines~ as Nine Inch Nails sang the rough, industrial chorus about wanting to fornicate with someone in a rather um, animalistic sort of way.
I reached across killing the radio feed with my "soccermom" reflexes. Now the internal mom conversation~
Mom One: ignore it, maybe he didn't get it, you turned it off, now start the car & drive...
Mom two: address it now, make sure he is ok, you pride yourself on being open, be the adult here...
In a split second Big took any choice I was going to have in the matter away.
In his matter of fact voice he said,
"Clearly that song was not appropriate for me or Little for that matter. Next time you should just put on (Michael) Franti at least he is happy when he sings about sex & relationships."
Mom:
"Yep"
Friday, December 23, 2011
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
A Better World
August 16, 1967, in Atlanta, Georgia. This is an excerpt of his talk, including the vocal responses from those in attendance. The full speech may be read at www.stanford.edu/group/King/publications
"And the other thing is, I'm concerned about a better world. I'm concerned about justice; I'm concerned about brotherhood; I'm concerned about truth. (That’s right) And when one is concerned about that, he can never advocate violence. For through violence you may murder a murderer, but you can't murder murder. (Yes) Through violence you may murder a liar, but you can't establish truth. (That's right) Through violence you may murder a hater, but you can't murder hate through violence. (All right, That’s right) Darkness cannot put out darkness; only light can do that." MLK Jr.
"And the other thing is, I'm concerned about a better world. I'm concerned about justice; I'm concerned about brotherhood; I'm concerned about truth. (That’s right) And when one is concerned about that, he can never advocate violence. For through violence you may murder a murderer, but you can't murder murder. (Yes) Through violence you may murder a liar, but you can't establish truth. (That's right) Through violence you may murder a hater, but you can't murder hate through violence. (All right, That’s right) Darkness cannot put out darkness; only light can do that." MLK Jr.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Big's BIG Moment - MPS Board Hearing April 2011
My name is -<B-I-G>
I am a 4th grade student from a <milwaukee public montessori school>.
I have been at <a milwaukee public montessori school> since I was 3 years old. It was during this early childhood educational time that I learned how to write the letters of the alphabet, began exploring how words are created, I learned practical life skills like sorting and organizing. I learned to share in hospitality, interact with my classmates with kindness and how to learn about the world by exploring it.
Now, I have never been to any other type of school. So I guess I cannot say if it is better at Montessori than traditional school. I can say that my school works! It works for all types of kids, all types of learners and it really sets the stage for a lifetime of learning.
My school has changed a lot since I was a K3. We now have very little gym or art time. We have lost most of our teaching assistants in the upper grades and next year we are looking at having to dismantle some of our classroom communities because we may be losing some teachers. I know many other schools will have cuts to their services too. I hope you will look at the programs and schools that are working and help them to continue to be successful.
I would like my school to have these very basic requests:
Classrooms with teachers with 30 kids per class (10 from each age group by level)
One paraprofessional per classroom every morning every day to assist with the lessons and reinforce the policies of the class
Those same paras would go on in the afternoons to help with recess and lunch and be those special trusted adults every school needs
We would have gym two times per week
We would have art at least one time per week
Finally- our teachers and leaders would be able to implement our Montessori program and train our Montessori teachers in a way that enhances our good thing.
If you strip away all of the things that make our specialty school – a Montessori school- you will find us to be a bunch of kids sitting on rugs with a bunch of beads and some really nice textbooks.
Our school logo has the words: Discover, Grow, Achieve, Inspire. Those things go on at my school everyday, even with cut after cut.
I ask the Board to help us continue to Discover, Grow, Achieve and Inspire they way we have been. THANK YOU.
I am a 4th grade student from a <milwaukee public montessori school>.
I have been at <a milwaukee public montessori school> since I was 3 years old. It was during this early childhood educational time that I learned how to write the letters of the alphabet, began exploring how words are created, I learned practical life skills like sorting and organizing. I learned to share in hospitality, interact with my classmates with kindness and how to learn about the world by exploring it.
Now, I have never been to any other type of school. So I guess I cannot say if it is better at Montessori than traditional school. I can say that my school works! It works for all types of kids, all types of learners and it really sets the stage for a lifetime of learning.
My school has changed a lot since I was a K3. We now have very little gym or art time. We have lost most of our teaching assistants in the upper grades and next year we are looking at having to dismantle some of our classroom communities because we may be losing some teachers. I know many other schools will have cuts to their services too. I hope you will look at the programs and schools that are working and help them to continue to be successful.
I would like my school to have these very basic requests:
Classrooms with teachers with 30 kids per class (10 from each age group by level)
One paraprofessional per classroom every morning every day to assist with the lessons and reinforce the policies of the class
Those same paras would go on in the afternoons to help with recess and lunch and be those special trusted adults every school needs
We would have gym two times per week
We would have art at least one time per week
Finally- our teachers and leaders would be able to implement our Montessori program and train our Montessori teachers in a way that enhances our good thing.
If you strip away all of the things that make our specialty school – a Montessori school- you will find us to be a bunch of kids sitting on rugs with a bunch of beads and some really nice textbooks.
Our school logo has the words: Discover, Grow, Achieve, Inspire. Those things go on at my school everyday, even with cut after cut.
I ask the Board to help us continue to Discover, Grow, Achieve and Inspire they way we have been. THANK YOU.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
To those of you who say.. "MPS? Shut it down."
From "Susan" on the JSOnline bulletin board today:
"I hate our public schools. They are a disgrace. The students don't learn. The teachers sit on their fat arses all day and complain about class size, because they are too lazy to work. SHUT DOWN MPS NOW!
From "oneMKEmom MPS Parent/Public Schools Advocate:
I am sorry you feel that way and believe those things about the teachers. There is a great deal of very positive things happening in MPS everyday and in our public schools systems across the state.
I am not one to say there are not dire problems in MPS; ones that need solutions. Many of the barriers to education in Milwaukee Public Schools have much less to do with the actual schools/classrooms/teachers and much more to do with biopsychosocial barriers the children bring to school with them. Parents/guardians are disengaged, there has been a history of keeping parents out of the loop and one of the biggest problems facing MPS is the community at large not being invested in what is going on in their neighborhood schools.
Teacher blaming is a relatively new phenomenon. There are few bad teachers out there, what is BAD is the fact that they are expected to be mother/father, social worker, special needs assistant, nurse, counselor, art teacher, gym teacher, music teacher, program implementer, librarian, reading specialist, math specialist, the list goes on an on... in suburban schools or in districts outside of MPS - a teacher may have one or two or three children who require their teacher to be everything and eveyone to them (which is a case-load in itself) in MPS often half of the class comes to school without an adequate or any amount of home support. Did I mention that the teachers are wearing all of these hats while the class sizes continue to grow and the per pupil dollars and support for schools decrease?
I am not a fat-ass, lazy teacher full of complaints -(I know hundreds of public school teachers and NONE of them fit that description) I am a mother who works everyday to improve the District in which we have chosen to educate our son. I work with parents, community members, the Board of Directors, the Superintendents office, the City leadership, our law makers in Madison and more in the belief that Public Education should be valued by our society - as a means to help our populous rise up, to make our state an attractive place for businesses, to show that our children really come first!
Hey Village wake up?!? If all you have done to "help" the problem is complain and sit on your ass... I don't want to hear from you. If you would like to be part of the solution... contact me, I can find you a Public School in your neighborhood who could use your time and talents in helping put CHILDREN FIRST!
I am not paid for the work I do for the schools in wages - I am paid in smiles, high fives and hugs...
It truly takes a village and I am not going to give up on the children who rely on MPS everyday... I would never say shut it down... DO IT BETTER of course... if you just lock the doors... then what?
"I hate our public schools. They are a disgrace. The students don't learn. The teachers sit on their fat arses all day and complain about class size, because they are too lazy to work. SHUT DOWN MPS NOW!
From "oneMKEmom MPS Parent/Public Schools Advocate:
I am sorry you feel that way and believe those things about the teachers. There is a great deal of very positive things happening in MPS everyday and in our public schools systems across the state.
I am not one to say there are not dire problems in MPS; ones that need solutions. Many of the barriers to education in Milwaukee Public Schools have much less to do with the actual schools/classrooms/teachers and much more to do with biopsychosocial barriers the children bring to school with them. Parents/guardians are disengaged, there has been a history of keeping parents out of the loop and one of the biggest problems facing MPS is the community at large not being invested in what is going on in their neighborhood schools.
Teacher blaming is a relatively new phenomenon. There are few bad teachers out there, what is BAD is the fact that they are expected to be mother/father, social worker, special needs assistant, nurse, counselor, art teacher, gym teacher, music teacher, program implementer, librarian, reading specialist, math specialist, the list goes on an on... in suburban schools or in districts outside of MPS - a teacher may have one or two or three children who require their teacher to be everything and eveyone to them (which is a case-load in itself) in MPS often half of the class comes to school without an adequate or any amount of home support. Did I mention that the teachers are wearing all of these hats while the class sizes continue to grow and the per pupil dollars and support for schools decrease?
I am not a fat-ass, lazy teacher full of complaints -(I know hundreds of public school teachers and NONE of them fit that description) I am a mother who works everyday to improve the District in which we have chosen to educate our son. I work with parents, community members, the Board of Directors, the Superintendents office, the City leadership, our law makers in Madison and more in the belief that Public Education should be valued by our society - as a means to help our populous rise up, to make our state an attractive place for businesses, to show that our children really come first!
Hey Village wake up?!? If all you have done to "help" the problem is complain and sit on your ass... I don't want to hear from you. If you would like to be part of the solution... contact me, I can find you a Public School in your neighborhood who could use your time and talents in helping put CHILDREN FIRST!
I am not paid for the work I do for the schools in wages - I am paid in smiles, high fives and hugs...
It truly takes a village and I am not going to give up on the children who rely on MPS everyday... I would never say shut it down... DO IT BETTER of course... if you just lock the doors... then what?
Monday, March 1, 2010
When Big became Big
I really regret that I haven't been blogging or logging or writing all of this stuff down all along. I have bits here and there, but Big has been an awesome kid and I have a thousand great stories to tell. Instead of totally backtracking, perhaps I will touch on them in reflection as I blog along. Today I feel the need to tell the story of when Big became Big because Little came into our world.
Big was eight when we became pregnant with Little. Big knew even before Les Paul. Summer vacation had just begun and I didn't feel great... we had been trying to have a baby, it hadn't panned out for some time, so we had kind of accepted being a one child family... a little flicker said why not? I decided to take a pregnancy test. I checked the results window and sent Big into the bathroom to see for himself. We called Les Paul at work and Big blurted into the phone, "Mom is pregnant." He looked like he would burst. We were frank with him- it was very early, and anything could happen... so we waited out a few weeks, a bleeding scare, a day at the air show with Les' family - where Big asked every time a jet passed by "can we tell them now?" until the day came in late August - it was time to go public and we let him do the telling. How proud he was that he was "Finally" going to be a big brother.
Big read the books. He would tell me how big the baby was any given week and we would discuss the comparable fruit or veggie sizes. He attended ultra-sound appointments and was in the room to learn if it was a boy or a girl. The Doctor was sort of drawing out the suspense "here is the baby's leg." "here is the baby's arm." "here is the baby's heart." Big walked over and said, "Yeah, I see the femur, now please tell me if it is a boy or a girl." Not normally rude or impatient - he just couldn't take it anymore. "It looks like Jenni is going to be even more out numbered - it is a boy." To which Big quickly responded, "Oh, my Mom? She will be just fine!" The Dr. looked over his shoulder at the witty boy on the stool "how old are you?" he inquired.
Everyone would ask how we thought Big would react to Little being born. He had been an only child nearly 9 years. I knew he would be just fine.
Flashing forward 42 weeks of waiting... and waiting... Big's teachers wife even had her baby - who was due a full 3 weeks after us - we were planning to let Big be in the room for his brother's birth - but Little arrived quickly (after much a'do). Les Paul left a few minutes after Little's first breaths to bring Big into the room. He walked in and smiled a million dollar smile - "He is here!" Big gave Little his first bath - so awesome. When it came for saying good-bye that night Big asked if he could stay at the hospital, "I waited 42 weeks for him to be born. I don't want to leave now." How sweet is that? Big stayed both nights at the hospital with us.
We brought Little home on St. Patrick's Day. We had family for dinner and as an unseasonably warm breeze blew in Big piped up and said, "I know he was only born three days ago, but I can hardly remember my life without him."
I knew Big would be better than just fine - he was going to be a great big brother to Little.
Big was eight when we became pregnant with Little. Big knew even before Les Paul. Summer vacation had just begun and I didn't feel great... we had been trying to have a baby, it hadn't panned out for some time, so we had kind of accepted being a one child family... a little flicker said why not? I decided to take a pregnancy test. I checked the results window and sent Big into the bathroom to see for himself. We called Les Paul at work and Big blurted into the phone, "Mom is pregnant." He looked like he would burst. We were frank with him- it was very early, and anything could happen... so we waited out a few weeks, a bleeding scare, a day at the air show with Les' family - where Big asked every time a jet passed by "can we tell them now?" until the day came in late August - it was time to go public and we let him do the telling. How proud he was that he was "Finally" going to be a big brother.
Big read the books. He would tell me how big the baby was any given week and we would discuss the comparable fruit or veggie sizes. He attended ultra-sound appointments and was in the room to learn if it was a boy or a girl. The Doctor was sort of drawing out the suspense "here is the baby's leg." "here is the baby's arm." "here is the baby's heart." Big walked over and said, "Yeah, I see the femur, now please tell me if it is a boy or a girl." Not normally rude or impatient - he just couldn't take it anymore. "It looks like Jenni is going to be even more out numbered - it is a boy." To which Big quickly responded, "Oh, my Mom? She will be just fine!" The Dr. looked over his shoulder at the witty boy on the stool "how old are you?" he inquired.
Everyone would ask how we thought Big would react to Little being born. He had been an only child nearly 9 years. I knew he would be just fine.
Flashing forward 42 weeks of waiting... and waiting... Big's teachers wife even had her baby - who was due a full 3 weeks after us - we were planning to let Big be in the room for his brother's birth - but Little arrived quickly (after much a'do). Les Paul left a few minutes after Little's first breaths to bring Big into the room. He walked in and smiled a million dollar smile - "He is here!" Big gave Little his first bath - so awesome. When it came for saying good-bye that night Big asked if he could stay at the hospital, "I waited 42 weeks for him to be born. I don't want to leave now." How sweet is that? Big stayed both nights at the hospital with us.
I knew Big would be better than just fine - he was going to be a great big brother to Little.
Interview with Big Age 8
This is an old interview I had with him... but it seemed if oneMKEmom is to get her start... it should be with some great kid stories, after all the kids make the mom, right?
Interview with Big, 8.
1. What is something mom always says to you?
"Killing games are NOT appropriate, ever.”
2. What makes mom happy?
Family and your good good friends. Being all together.
3. What makes mom sad?
Violence.
4. How does your mom make you laugh?
When you do “static cat” with Beatrice.
5. What was your mom like as a child?
You had a lot of friends and did gymnastics and played some soccer.
6. How old is your mom?
29, going to be thirty.
7. How tall is your mom?
About five feet high.
8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Finding a great sale while shopping.
9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
You hang out with Halle sometimes, or you go to meetings.
10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
I would say you would be a number one at PTO and volunteering in the city.
11. What is your mom really good at?
You are really good a cooking for us and picking take out places. (A true Gemini!)
12. What is your mom not very good at?
There are not many things that I don’t think you are good at. But I’d say, guitar.
13. What does your mom do for her job?
You take good care of me, dad, the cats and the other pets.
14. What's your mom's favorite food?
You like a lot of food. But you love coffee and chicken fingers.
15. What makes you proud of your mom?
You are very fun and I like how you plan events and helps out at my school. You like the kids in my class and they like you.
16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
The mom on Johnny Test or Wonder-woman.
17. What do you and your mom do together?
Ooh, we that’s easy we go for long walks, homework, she takes me to my friends birthday parties. We like to go to movies together or snuggle.
18. How are you and your mom the same?
We both like to read and we both like cats. We have the same eyes.
19. How are you and your mom different?
Well, you are a different gender… what? It is the first thing that popped into my head!
20. How do you know your mom loves you?
She hugs and kisses on me everyday.
21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
I’d say you like to go to big cities and take pictures and teach me stuff.
You like when you go home to put on comfy pants… write that, it is funny.
Interview with Big, 8.
1. What is something mom always says to you?
"Killing games are NOT appropriate, ever.”
2. What makes mom happy?
Family and your good good friends. Being all together.
3. What makes mom sad?
Violence.
4. How does your mom make you laugh?
When you do “static cat” with Beatrice.
5. What was your mom like as a child?
You had a lot of friends and did gymnastics and played some soccer.
6. How old is your mom?
29, going to be thirty.
7. How tall is your mom?
About five feet high.
8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Finding a great sale while shopping.
9. What does your mom do when you're not around?
You hang out with Halle sometimes, or you go to meetings.
10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
I would say you would be a number one at PTO and volunteering in the city.
11. What is your mom really good at?
You are really good a cooking for us and picking take out places. (A true Gemini!)
12. What is your mom not very good at?
There are not many things that I don’t think you are good at. But I’d say, guitar.
13. What does your mom do for her job?
You take good care of me, dad, the cats and the other pets.
14. What's your mom's favorite food?
You like a lot of food. But you love coffee and chicken fingers.
15. What makes you proud of your mom?
You are very fun and I like how you plan events and helps out at my school. You like the kids in my class and they like you.
16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
The mom on Johnny Test or Wonder-woman.
17. What do you and your mom do together?
Ooh, we that’s easy we go for long walks, homework, she takes me to my friends birthday parties. We like to go to movies together or snuggle.
18. How are you and your mom the same?
We both like to read and we both like cats. We have the same eyes.
19. How are you and your mom different?
Well, you are a different gender… what? It is the first thing that popped into my head!
20. How do you know your mom loves you?
She hugs and kisses on me everyday.
21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?
I’d say you like to go to big cities and take pictures and teach me stuff.
You like when you go home to put on comfy pants… write that, it is funny.
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